2018 FBA Season/18.04.01/BGR@PLY/Capsule

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A shocking win for Plymouth tonight for what should have easily been a Bangor win, as the best team in the East faced one of the worst. The game started well for the Tides, with strong showings from Bangor’s full starting line-up. Raoul Kidane (Ethiopian Wolf, C), Leon Delmont (Cougar, G), and Randulf Mackenbach (Wistar Rat, F) all put up double digits in the first half, especially frustrating Nina Lime (Wolf, G/F) and Travis Buckner (Grey Koala, F), who both fouled out before halftime.

But the second half of the game was delayed due to a medical emergency. When play resumed, Bangor was missing their starting point guard, Lance Wildfyre (Rabbit, G). Neither team’s staff cared to comment about the situation, but it was clear that Bangor was shaken up by the incident. Plymouth easily took advantage of the situation, and came back from behind to beat the Tides by one point.

When I tried to meet up with POTG (and Wildfyre’s former teammate) René Lacoste (Jackal, G) for a post-game interview, he clearly had other things on his mind. “It was only supposed to be a joke,” Lacoste responded cryptically, “I can’t talk about it right now.” I hadn’t even asked him a question yet, but he walked away before I could ask for further explanation.

Realizing something when down during halftime, I hunted down James Frestrikial (Brown Bear, C), another one of Wildfyre’s former teammates, to see if he had any insight.

“You sure you really wanna know? Gosh, it was so dumb. So, we thought it’d be funny to surprise Lance with a life-sized chocolate rabbit of himself for Easter. You know, because it’s hilarious. It was a great likeness too, almost looked exactly like the real thing, and just as heavy. Well, we were going to wait until after the game, but the air conditioning wasn’t working in the room we had it in, so we grabbed Wildfyre during the halftime break and presented it to him before the chocolate melted.

“He saw the chocolate bunny, and… something just snapped, and he started going after it like a madman. You should have seen the chocolate carnage. I mean, he decimated the thing, claws and maw slashing, he just wouldn’t stop. I don’t care how small the rabbit is, that little bugger is strong. It took three of us to finally drag him out of the room – and even then he was fighting tooth and nail, scratched a couple of us real good. I heard they had to cart him off to a psych ward, put him in a padded cell so he wouldn’t hurt no one. I hope he’s alright.

“Speaking of which, we got a hundred and eighty pounds of chocolate we have to unload, do you want any?”

-- Chris Whalen, FSPN

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